The Bitchseat

I need a ride from Denver to Dallas and can help drive and share expenses. I don’t have much luggage, I have a small dog in a doggie carrier. I can leave at anytime. Please respond or call XXX-XXX-XXXX and ask for Pat. Thank you.

To Pat:

I am heading to Dallas tomorrow. If you can pitch in for gas you are welcome. How much luggage do you have? I don’t have much room my Cousin is coming too.

To: Trolling Craig

I have one bag and a small dog. I will gladly pay for gas the whole way. Can you pick me up at the Denny’s on Havana?

To: Pat

Not a problem. How big is the dog crate because we don’t have room….my cousin is very large.

To: Trolling Craig

Thanks it is a date. The dog box is about 2ftx2ft. It is just a toy poodle.

To: Pat

That may present a problem. We may have to put the mutt in one of the saddle bags. My cousin can hold your bag in the sidecar . We could switch it around and put your clothes in the bag and let him hold the dog, but he is mentally retarded and has a habit of laughing and tossing things.

To: Trolling Craig

A sidecar?

To: Pat

Ya we will be riding my motorcycle with an attached sidecar from Denver to Dallas. You get the bitchseat. I would let you ride in the sidecar but every time my cousin rides in the bitchseat he pops a boner and stabs me in the back.

To: Trolling Craig

Please tell me you are joking. A motorcycle to Dallas…in this weather? I just told my boyfriend that I screwed his brother and I was leaving and you have a fucking motorcycle?

To: Pat

Would this be a bad time to ask for a hummer in addition to the gas money?

To: Trolling Craig

Fuck off. I will take the bus.