Free dog

I AM LOOKING FOR A LOVING DOG TO JOIN OUR FAMILY ALONG WITH THAT I AM IN NEED OF A DOG BED, ONE BIG ENOUGH FOR A MEDIUM SIZE DOG.
PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH E-MAIL OR CALL ME AT XXX-XXXX OR XXX-XXXX, THANKS.

To: Dog seeker

I am a little confused. Are you looking for a DOG or a DOG BED? I actually have both to give away.

The dog bed is 4ftx4ft and super nice. It is that memory foam stuff and it has a washable cover that has a nordic motif on it. I don’t know the brand it just says: Glory Hole Mat on it. Must be European or something. It has never been used.

The dog’s name is Wanker…he is free to a good home also. The bed is new because he has never laid on it. He prefers to sleep in the bathroom. In front of the toilet to be exact. He is a medium sized mixed breed. I think he is part Doberman, part poodle, and part pug. We found him sleeping in a toilet at a truckstop. He does get a little defensive about the toilet though, especially at night. Some nights it is just easier to go pee outside than risk waking him and having to use the taser.

Let me know if you are interested

To: Trolling Craig

We have already found a dog, we just need a dog bed now.

To: Monika

Are you sure you don’t need one more dog?  He has really tight black curly hair and we have to keep him shaved so the taser prongs can actually make contact. OK shaved is not quite accurate. It is more like a Brazilian.

To: Trolling Craig

I would take the bed if you are GIVING it away, but I don’t want some crazy dog. I have kids. And we just got a Schnauzer.

To: Monika

Wanker is great with kids.

To: Trolling Craig

You said you have to taser him to get to the bathroom. He sounds like a psycho.

To: Monika

You just have to have a firm hand with him. What are your kids pussies or something? They must be pussies, you got them a Schnauzer. Look if you want your kids to grow up tough, you have to throw challenges at them. What bigger challenge is there than having to fight your way to take a crap. You will never know proud until you see your 6 year old desperately trying to reload the taser while squeezing one out on the can.

To: Trolling Craig

You are crazy.

To: Monika

I will throw in a can of mace and some flush-able wipes.