House Sitter

I am looking for short-term projects, ie. for a week or less, housesitting or petsitting. I love animals, have a security officer license so I am trustworthy, and would treat your home with respect and care while you were away.
Price is negotiable but would be around $35.00 per day.
I have references, if requested. Thank you and have a great day!
Denise

To: Denis

I have a house in Sherman park that need a house/pet sitter for 3 days next month. Are you available?

To: Trolling Craig

Yes, I am available next week. Sherman Park is kind of a drive for me, so the rate will have to be $40 per day to make up for the gas. Do you have pets? BTW the name is Denise not Denis

To: Denise

You are a woman? I thought you said you had security guard training. I didn’t think they allowed women in the security field. Yes I have one dog. $40 is fine, but I don’t want you looking at my underwear or anything.

To: Trolling Craig

How old are you 150? Women have been security guards for a long time now. I am not going to snoop in your underwear drawer. What kind of dog is it and can you give me directions to the house?

To: Denise

Well here is the thing. I am not a sexist but this might be a man’s job. You see…..the dog….he is a pittbull….with a nasty temper. And then there is the crazy neighbor.

To: Trolling Craig

I can handle the dog. What is up with the neighbor? I want thins job.

To: Denise

OK you are hired. You MUST arrive before 5PM. The key is under the welcome mat but don’t use it. The front door is kind of broken. I need you to go around back and crawl through the bedroom window. Once inside, you need to make for the front door as fast as you can. The crazy neighbor will be home after 5PM. Avoid the dog, but don’t run. He has been trained to kill. When you get to the door you need to lock the chain. Sometime after 5 the neighbor will start banging on the door screaming that this is his fucking house and to let him in. Ignore him, he is crazy.

To: Trolling Craig

What the hell?

To: Denise

The cops may show up, but here is the kicker. They are not really cops. They are the crazy neighbors friends. Strippers I think. Don’t let them in either.

To: Trolling Craig

You are crazy. I am not breaking into your neighbors house. Get lost

To Denise

A man would have had the nuts to take the job.

To: Trolling Craig

Fuck u

16 for the Price of One

We are a loving family who have much experience with children of all ages. We are hoping to adopt a baby, toddler or a young sibling group.
We have gone through all the requirements for a state adoption including the homestudy, the background check, the Parenting classes, the first-Aid course and more. We just didn’t like our experience going through the state and decided to try for an independent adoption using just an attorney for the paperwork. We are just hoping to connect with someone who needs us as much as we want them.
We are stable emotionally, financially and as a family. If you or someone you know of is thinking of adoption as an option, then please let us know. We have an attorney for the legal matters but you can contact us personally. Everything will be kept confidential. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Thanks so much~

To: Prospective Parents

You are a godsend. This will be kept strictly confidential right?

To: Trolling Craig

Of course we will use complete discretion. Are you expecting a child?

Love,

Mark and Cindy

To: Mark and Cindy

Yes we are expecting more children, but we would like to adopt out all of our kids. We just can’t take it anymore. My partner and I have thought about this long and hard and we feel the children would be better off with people that can adequately provide for their needs. It breaks our hearts.

To: Trolling Craig

We completely understand this must be a hard decision for you. Are we talking about a sibling group? What are the ages of the children?

To: Mark and Cindy

Yes it is a young sibling group, but a couple of the children have special needs. Are you OK with special needs kids?

To: Trolling Craig

Yes. One of our children has ADD and we have worked closely with doctors and therapists to address his needs.

To: Mark and Cindy

Great you sound like you could handle ours. There are a total of 14 kids and I am pregnant with twins. 8 of the fourteen are 3 years old and the other 6 are about 18mths. 9 of the kids have downs syndrome. Two are Autistic. My partner and I were both implanted by the same fertility doctor. It has just been too much to take. I haven’t slept in weeks. I pretty much just change diapers around the clock while my partner feeds and wipes shit off the walls.

To: Trolling Craig

My God. You can’t seriously expect a family to absorb 16 special needs kids? Maybe you should get help from the State.

To: Mark and Cindy

Is it because we are lesbians? You people are all the same.

To: Trolling Craig

NO! It has nothing to do with your “lifestyle” it is just not possible for us to take care of THAT many kids. I am sorry we cannot help.

To: Mark and Cindy

Please you have to do something. I already told the 3 year olds that we found them a new mommy. They were upset but I think the Valium is helping them keep an even keel.

To: Trolling Craig

YOU GAVE A THREE YEAR OLD VALIUM? You should not have told the kids that you found them a new mommy. That was irresponsible. We can’t help you sorry.

To: Mark and Cindy

OK you drive a hard bargain.  How about you just take half of them. Try them out for a couple years and see if you like them and then make up your mind if you want the rest.

To: Mark and Cindy

OK 3 kids and that is our final offer.

Roommate has a secret

Roommate needed. College guy needs cool buddy to split rent on 3 BR apt in the Atlanta area. Just us two and my pet cat. The 3 rd bedroom can be use for a pool table or something. Currently it is storage for extra clothes. Rent is 1200 mth split down the middle. Utilities are covered by the landlord. You must be cool and 420 friendly. Call XXX-XXXX and ask for Jack.

To: Jack

Hey. My phone is broken so I am dropping you an email. I would love to be your “roommate”. I completely understand where you are coming from. I am 6’2 blond and well hung but gentle. I prefer to be top but we will see where it goes.

To:  Trolling Craig

WTF? Dude? I am looking for a roommate not some fag lover. I am NOT gay. Go find a butt buddy somewhere else.

To: Jack

Wow talk about pent up sexual frustration. Jack, you have a cat and a room for “extra” clothes….dude you are gay as Richard Simmons. I promise you are gay. We should hook up.

To: Trolling Craig

I am not fucking gay. Lot of guys have cats. Cats are cool.

To: Jack

Sure they are Jack. I have 3 myself. Are all your clothes designer?

To: Trolling Craig

Oh fuck……I am gay