Toxic Trade

Looking to trade a wonderful 3 bed 2 bath 1 car garage, Saltwater pool and Waterfall spa, Privacy fenced, All Top of the Line modern Stainless Steel appliances. Home in Ft. Lauderdale Florida for a home on acreage in East TX. Values negotiable. This home is central to everything and in a great location, On a large lake, Next to a beautiful Playground/exercise course maintained by the city, and in a 1 way in neighborhood. No HOA. I would be willing to carry the loan or just exchange paper. Let me know if you are interested and we can work out the details.

To: Home Owner

We are very interested in your offer. We have 120 Acres with a house in East Texas and are looking to retire to Florida. Call us xxx-xxx-xxxx

To: Trolling Craig

I tried calling for 2 days and it is always busy. Can you tell me about the property.

Thanks,

Jim

To: Jim

Jim, sorry about the phone thing. We have a 32 year old son that is mentally retarded and was born with severe birth defects and many times he plays with the phone. It should work now. But the property is really nice. We have lived here for 33 years and have taken really good care of the place. The house is 5 bedrooms and the property is closer to 125 acres but it generates about $11,000 a month income.

Gloria

To: Trolling Craig

I am sorry to hear about your son. My wife and I are hoping to have kids soon. $11,000???? Income. Wow from what?

To: Jim

Actually it is paying for our retirement. LOL. We have a long term storage contract with a local energy company. The contract is expiring but we…or you the new owners will have the option for renewing.

To: Trolling Craig

Storage of what?

To: Jim

I don’t really know. Just a bunch of rusty metal barrels. They use to bury them out yonder by the water well, but now they just stack on the back of the property. Are you a hunter because we have great hunting  on the place.

To: Trolling Craig

Are you pulling my leg? That sounds like a bunch of toxic waste. You can’t be serious. No I do not hunt.

To: Jim

It is perfectly harmless. Everything is thriving around here. I think it is some kind of green energy or something. The wildlife doesn’t seem affected. I have even seen squirrels licking at the leaking barrels. Which brings me back to the hunting thing. Even if you are not a hunter, you could lease the hunting rights to others. We have some HUGE….and I mean HUGE squirrels around here. Dog size or better.

To: Trolling Craig

Holy Shit. No I am not interested. I think you should contact a lawyer. I think that toxic waste could be responsible for your son’s birth defects. Good luck.

To Jim:

I appreciate your concern but, our son was born fine. He became retarded after the umbilical cord got wrapped around one of his necks and stopped the blood flow to the brain. The other head is just fine and has a job at the local Dairy Queen.

To: Trolling Craig

Please stop. We have changed our mind. We are not moving to Texas.