House Sitter

I am looking for short-term projects, ie. for a week or less, housesitting or petsitting. I love animals, have a security officer license so I am trustworthy, and would treat your home with respect and care while you were away.
Price is negotiable but would be around $35.00 per day.
I have references, if requested. Thank you and have a great day!
Denise

To: Denis

I have a house in Sherman park that need a house/pet sitter for 3 days next month. Are you available?

To: Trolling Craig

Yes, I am available next week. Sherman Park is kind of a drive for me, so the rate will have to be $40 per day to make up for the gas. Do you have pets? BTW the name is Denise not Denis

To: Denise

You are a woman? I thought you said you had security guard training. I didn’t think they allowed women in the security field. Yes I have one dog. $40 is fine, but I don’t want you looking at my underwear or anything.

To: Trolling Craig

How old are you 150? Women have been security guards for a long time now. I am not going to snoop in your underwear drawer. What kind of dog is it and can you give me directions to the house?

To: Denise

Well here is the thing. I am not a sexist but this might be a man’s job. You see…..the dog….he is a pittbull….with a nasty temper. And then there is the crazy neighbor.

To: Trolling Craig

I can handle the dog. What is up with the neighbor? I want thins job.

To: Denise

OK you are hired. You MUST arrive before 5PM. The key is under the welcome mat but don’t use it. The front door is kind of broken. I need you to go around back and crawl through the bedroom window. Once inside, you need to make for the front door as fast as you can. The crazy neighbor will be home after 5PM. Avoid the dog, but don’t run. He has been trained to kill. When you get to the door you need to lock the chain. Sometime after 5 the neighbor will start banging on the door screaming that this is his fucking house and to let him in. Ignore him, he is crazy.

To: Trolling Craig

What the hell?

To: Denise

The cops may show up, but here is the kicker. They are not really cops. They are the crazy neighbors friends. Strippers I think. Don’t let them in either.

To: Trolling Craig

You are crazy. I am not breaking into your neighbors house. Get lost

To Denise

A man would have had the nuts to take the job.

To: Trolling Craig

Fuck u