Free dog

I AM LOOKING FOR A LOVING DOG TO JOIN OUR FAMILY ALONG WITH THAT I AM IN NEED OF A DOG BED, ONE BIG ENOUGH FOR A MEDIUM SIZE DOG.
PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH E-MAIL OR CALL ME AT XXX-XXXX OR XXX-XXXX, THANKS.

To: Dog seeker

I am a little confused. Are you looking for a DOG or a DOG BED? I actually have both to give away.

The dog bed is 4ftx4ft and super nice. It is that memory foam stuff and it has a washable cover that has a nordic motif on it. I don’t know the brand it just says: Glory Hole Mat on it. Must be European or something. It has never been used.

The dog’s name is Wanker…he is free to a good home also. The bed is new because he has never laid on it. He prefers to sleep in the bathroom. In front of the toilet to be exact. He is a medium sized mixed breed. I think he is part Doberman, part poodle, and part pug. We found him sleeping in a toilet at a truckstop. He does get a little defensive about the toilet though, especially at night. Some nights it is just easier to go pee outside than risk waking him and having to use the taser.

Let me know if you are interested

To: Trolling Craig

We have already found a dog, we just need a dog bed now.

To: Monika

Are you sure you don’t need one more dog?  He has really tight black curly hair and we have to keep him shaved so the taser prongs can actually make contact. OK shaved is not quite accurate. It is more like a Brazilian.

To: Trolling Craig

I would take the bed if you are GIVING it away, but I don’t want some crazy dog. I have kids. And we just got a Schnauzer.

To: Monika

Wanker is great with kids.

To: Trolling Craig

You said you have to taser him to get to the bathroom. He sounds like a psycho.

To: Monika

You just have to have a firm hand with him. What are your kids pussies or something? They must be pussies, you got them a Schnauzer. Look if you want your kids to grow up tough, you have to throw challenges at them. What bigger challenge is there than having to fight your way to take a crap. You will never know proud until you see your 6 year old desperately trying to reload the taser while squeezing one out on the can.

To: Trolling Craig

You are crazy.

To: Monika

I will throw in a can of mace and some flush-able wipes.

Adopt Hispanic Baby

I just want to inform any happy and God fearing home out there that i have in position a baby boy of age 10Months i seek to adopt him, Please just contact me for more infos, The adoption will be done legally by an agency so i am only looking for any family that is of great and good interest,

To: Parents

I am very interested in adopting the child, but I have a few questions. Is the lad in good shape? Does he seem like he is strong enough to earn his keep?

Thanks,

Punh Foo

Foo Sho Factory

To: Trolling Craig

What are you talking about he is only 10 months old?

To: Parents

What do I look like I am running here? A charity. Every kid has to pull his own weight. BTW how much does he weigh?

To: Trolling Craig

This conversation is over.

To: Parents

Are you mad because I asked about his weight? I am sorry. It is OK if he is fat. Who are we to judge. Tell me, how is his manual dexterity?

To: Trolling Craig

YOU are a asshole! My son is not working in a shoe factory. I am going to report you. Go away!

To: Parents

Whoa Whoa Whoa, he doesn’t even have the job yet. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. What is his food to poop ratio? Is it like 2oz in 6 oz out thing?

To: Trolling Craig

Fuck you.

Weiner dogs for snake

Two Beautiful mini dachshund’s need a new home. They are brother and sister and i would love to re-home them together if possible. They are black and tan and weigh about 10 lbs. They have been spayed and neutered and have all their shots up to date. They will come with collar, leash and food bowl. They also have a wellness plan which you can take over. It is not expensive and may save you money in the long run.
I have just had my 3rd son and things are very hectic around here, hence the need for a new home and i will be sad to see them go. They are playful and sweet and love nothing more than to curl up next to you and would sit in your lap as long as you will let them.
I have attached pictures, they are not the best as these two are not easy to get pictures of. Please email me if you have questions.

To: Felicity

I am interested in the dogs. Do they weigh 10 lbs each or 10 lbs together?

Thanks,

Gloria

To: Trolling Craig

Hey!

They are both very social dogs and like company so when i leave the house for a long time i always put them outside and they do just fine that way. They can get into trouble if left home alone for too long! They don’t mind being outside though and are used to it. They will be your best friend when you get home! 😉

The male weighs about 9lbs and the female 7-8lbs. They are small and cute!There is a re-homing fee. I am asking $300 for both. This is just to cover what it cost me to buy them. This does not cover the cost of them being spayed and neutered or any money i have put into them already. I would just like to get back what i paid for them. They also have all their county and rabies tags and are micro chipped which we can have changed to your address.

They are great dogs and the only reason i am parting with them is that i just had my 3rd son and things are a little to hectic around here right now and i don’t want them to feel left out or neglected.

They are actually at petsmart right now getting their shots up to date and a general check up so you will not have to worry about taking them for a while. I can get you an exact weight when they come home if you would like.

If you have anymore questions please don’t hesitate to email me.

Thanks Felicity.

To: Felicity

The puppy plan is really not necessary. It would be really great if you get me an exact weight on each dog before I make a decision. You see, I have a 6.5 foot python and he really can’t handle any meal over 10 lbs…..you know he has trouble getting it down. As long as they are not going over the 10 lb mark they would work out great. The 300 dollars does seem a little steep. Is this price negotiable at all?

Thanks,

To: Trolling Craig

Well i did find out that i can’t actually transfer the wellness plan to another person as i thought i could so i guess that works out!

They are both exactly 9.5lbs. I can drop the price to $200 as i need to get rid of them soon. Are you local as we can drop them off with you if you are still interested.

Thanks for your interest.

To: Felicity

I really appreicate you coming down on the price. 9.5 lbs is perfect. Did you say they just had their shots? What shots did they get? I need to know because sometimes if an animal has been vaccinated and then you feed that animal to the snake….the snake gets sick. I don’t want to lose my snake.

Thanks,

To: Trolling Craig

They both got a bordetella shot.

Sent from my iPhone

To: Felicity

That is perfect, I was wanting to vaccinate my snake for that anyway. It is better to gutload the puppies before he eats them anyway. When can I pick them up?

To: Trolling Craig

WHAT? YOU ARE NOT FEEDING MY DOGS TO YOUR SNAKE! FUCK OFF SICKO!

To: Felicity

OK OK I will not feed them to my snake. When can I pick them up?

To: Trolling Craig

GO TO HELL