False advertising at a Garage Sale

—Multi Family Garage Sale, SUNDAY, Oct. XX, RAIN OR SHINE.
LOTS of Great Stuff!!!

To: Liars

I visited your “garage” sale this weekend and was very disappointed in what I found. You people have no shame with your false advertising. I really should report you.

To: Trolling Craig

WTF are you talking about.

To: Liars

Oh now you want to play all coy. I showed up on Sunday and guess what there was no garage for sale at your fucking “garage sale” just a bunch of useless crap and ugly used circus tents.

To: Trolling Craig

You are kidding right? Is English your first language? Here is the real world a garage sale means a sale out of a garage. You know a yard sale.

To: Liars

If anybody here is having trouble with the English language, I would say it has to be the deceptive shysters that advertised something they weren’t selling. Here is the other real world, a dress sale means they are selling dresses. A bake sale means they are selling baked goods, and a computer sale means they are selling computers. Do you see a pattern here?

To: Trolling Craig

You are insane. Nobody sells a garage. Besides I think you have the wrong people, we never sold any circus tents.

To: Liars

OK I don’t want to fight about this. I could be mistaken about the circus tents; they very well could have been ladies dresses…..very large ladies dresses. The point is you advertised a “Multi Family Garage Sale” and I came to the sale specifically because I am in the market for an extra multifamily garage. You see I have imported (at great expense) several immigrant families to work for my business and I need a place to keep them. Hence, I need a multifamily garage.

To: Trolling Craig

You have to be the rudest man I have ever met. My wife has a glandular problem and for the last time we were not selling our garage. I am sorry you were mistaken.

To: Liars

You are right. The circus tent thing was out of line. I should have known by the telltale spaghetti stains on the front of the dresses that it was a gland problem and not just a large beast of a woman shoveling food into her pie-hole faster than Richard Gere chasing a gerbil. How about we just settle this up with you paying me for the gas I wasted driving all the way out to buy your non-existent multifamily garage and we call it even.

To: Trolling Craig

How about I kick your ass? I am not paying for your stupidity.

To: Liars

Look there is no need for physical violence.  We just have to find some middle ground here. How about you give me two of your wife’s dresses and I house the Mexican families under the stunning floral prints. Everybody wins.

To: Trolling Craig

Fuck off